Thomas

Thomas, my first fur baby and forever soul mate.

When I moved from MN to LA for fashion design school I would visit a puppy boutique next door to my favorite deli religiously each weekend. I wanted a pup so badly, but being a poor college student, I would visit this shop to get free doggie snuggles and kisses instead. After months of visiting the same store, and seeing the same worker, he came up to me as I was holding Thomas and told me that he was on sale. Someone had returned him as they decided they couldn't care for him. Either he was sick of me visiting his store or he could feel how desperate I was for a dog, either way — that was the day I met my best friend and took him home with me.

We got stopped everywhere we went because he had such a human-like personality, perhaps being clothed better than most people also had something to do with it. I'm certain you believed you were more human than a dog and demanded to be treated as such. You slept with your head on the pillow next to me, you didn't like hanging out with other dogs, and the only time you were mean was when I would leave you at home for school or work. You would rip my dresses, pants, and anything you could reach as I tried to leave our apartment. We both had separation anxiety from each other but you really took it to the next level. I brought you almost everywhere with me, even places where I would sneak you in like the grocery store and the movies.

I swear our souls were connected. One time, when I spent the summer in NYC interning, you had to stay with your grandparents in MN for 2 months. I woke up one morning very upset because I had a dream that something happened to you. I called my mom immediately and asked if you were okay — it turns out you were in the hospital getting your stomach pumped because you ate the stuffing from one of your babies. Thankfully you were okay, but I moved to Brooklyn a few weeks later and took you with me.

Eventually, we moved home to MN where we met your dad. It was us 3 for a while until we were blessed with the arrival of your baby brother (and our first human baby), Ziggy. It was such a rollercoaster of emotions as you were already sick and my heart was breaking at the thought of not having you around. When you did pass, I can say that I have never felt heartache like that in my life. It was so painful, I still think of you all the time. You taught me how to love deeply and were my very best friend. I couldn't stop crying for many weeks. I'd beg you to send me a sign that you were okay until finally, you visited me in my dream. You were wagging your tail looking at me from afar through a sea of people, and when I finally hugged you it felt like you were right there with me like you were trying to tell me that you were still there watching over me even if I couldn’t see you.

You continue to send me signs that you are with us, often when I need them most. I love you more than you'll ever know and will see you again someday.